I've started hearing Christmas songs already. Aren't people bored of "Fairytale of New York" yet? Don't get me wrong, I used to like it as much as the next person, but after 25 years I just don't want to hear about maggots, bells and drunk tanks anymore.
I also don't want to hear Mariah demanding to have me for Christmas.
I am sick of Noddy telling me to look to the future. I have, and it consists of hearing Slade constantly for 4 months of every year until I die.
I've had enough of Roy Wood's desire to have Christmas everyday, which frankly would leave the economy in an even worse state than it already is.
I don't care if Paul McCartney is having a wonderful Christmas time.
No Cliff, I don't want misteltoe or wine. Christmas isn't just about snogging and getting pissed, you rambunctious old bugger.
Did the Waitresses have any other songs?
No Chrissie, I won't drive 25 miles. I can't drive anyway, and fuck walking that far.
No Shakin' Stevens, tis not the season for love or understanding.
Bono, I wish it was them instead of me quite frankly. Then they would be forced to hear that stupid song every year. By the way, I'm almost certain they do know its Christmas.
Elton, how the hell does someone step into Christmas?
I'm pretty sure the cavalry has stopped by now, Jona.
I physically cannot rock around a Christmas tree.
Dean, don't let it snow, its a massive nuisance.
And I fucking hate The Darkness.
Stupid Christmas songs. You could write one and make an absolute fortune out of it. I might give it a go, I could use the money. Then I'd be sick of hearing myself every year. It'd be worth it. Stay tuned.
No comments:
Post a Comment