Last Minute Gig Musings

            So yesterday I got an e-mail at about 4pm from the Up The Creek comedy club in Greenwich, asking if I was available to fill in for somebody who had pulled out earlier in the day. Holy shitballs. First of all, very famous comedians have played that place, and secondly, I had hardly any time to prepare as well as shave and wash myself, because appearance is important in society. News to me.

             I scrambled about for a bit there, asking as many people as possible if they didn't mind abandoning all their plans for the evening and coming to see me talk for 5 minutes. I also worried about what to wear, bearing in mind it is ungodly hot at the moment. I did flirt briefly with the idea of wearing flip-flops, but thought better of it, as they would probably have made an annoying squelching sound as I walked on the stage. In the end I wore a T-shirt and shorts, nothing too outlandish. I also thought about possibly debuting some new material I've been working on, because I have another gig lined up for 2 weeks time, but instead decided to do the same routine from the first, only tweaked slightly. This once again entitled me writing two seperate poems onto two seperate pieces of lined A4 paper, something I should probably do something about. As comedy props go, they are weak at best. I'm certainly no Carrot Top.

             Took the train to the venue, had a couple of pre-game ciders which I ended up drinking very quickly, due to a combination of being ridiculously parched, somewhat nervous and a borderline alcoholic. My good friends, who I will name here: Tim Burchell, Benjamin Burchell, Chazz Pulbrook and Andy Eggleden, came to meet me because they are really really great friends losers. Just kidding guys, I love you all. Plus my sister and dad came down, they sat right in front of the stage so I tried to avoid eye contact with them while on stage, because I would've been embarrassed that I was saying the f-word in front of them both, seeing as I was still relatively sober. Anyone who couldn't turn up at very short notice due to having other plans or being at work, I'll forgive you eventually. Its gonna take some time though.

              Gig came and went. People laughed and even clapped at one point, which gave me a brief ego boost until I nearly slipped while leaning on the mic stand. Luckily for me I went on third out of the 12 acts that performed, so at least I got it out of the way early enough. I was a little rattled when I first arrived, because they told me if I went over 5 minutes the lights would flash and I'd need to wrap up quick, or possibly be lynched. They never actually said that last part, that's just my assumption. Also the compere looked like he'd kicked a few heads in back in the 70s, which didn't help.

             The gig was split into two halves, 6 comics on each. Pretty much everyone else was really fucking good, with really well crafted routines and some excellent one-liners, it was actually really inspiring to me. I could never have anticipated I would get the chance to perform at somewhere as established as Up The Creek on only my second gig, and am thoroughly grateful for the chance to have done so. Hopefully I'll play there a lot more in the future, that would be lovely. Hopefully some sort of plague wipes out other comedians that have already booked slots there so the opportunity will arise again. That would also be lovely.

Vaya con dios, you mothers.

Joe
@wardylovesit