Hello, my name is Joe Ward and this is a blog I have started because all the cool kids are blogging nowadays. I have no specific subject that I want to blog about, but sometimes thoughts just occur to me and now instead of blurting them out to confused and often horrified strangers on the street, I can use this as a medium to do so, plus I don't have to leave my home which is always a bonus.
I guess one purpose of this blog is to try to raise awareness of my new foray into stand up comedy. For several years people have told me "You're quite funny, you should do stand up comedy", to which I just sort of chuckled bashfully and then carried on drinking irresponsibly. The main reason I put off doing it for so long is that I never really knew what I would do for a routine, plus my only experiences of performing in front of people include portraying that kid who gets shot with a cream pie gun at the start of "Bugsy Malone" for our Year 6 play, and also playing the drums really badly to a room of about 20 people, most of whom were so appalled by the noise that they had to either leave or try to stick needles through their ears. We did do a mean cover of "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne though. What's happened to her anyway, is she still afraid that the shame of marrying the singer of Nickelback would negatively affect her career forevermore? The fact he probably serenades her on a nightly basis with a rendition of "hey hey I wanna be a rock star" is probably enough to ensure that Avril has questioned not only her sanity, but also how she has chosen to live her life in general.
Anyway, I digress. I think essentially I was too nervous to even attempt it, because its one thing to be funny in conversation with people you know, its quite other to be funny in front of a room full of people, most of whom you wouldn't know, who are expecting to be sufficiently amused. Eventually though, after about the 86th conversation with a friend in which I expressed a desire to try it but didn't have the balls, I finally decided enough was enough, and that I would finally give it a go, with or without my balls. I wrote on Facebook that I would do it before the end of 2013, and enough people 'liked' it (because its important to me that I be liked) to convince me it would be a worthwhile endeavour.
The gig came about sooner than I expected - after e-mailing a few venues about doing an open mic slot, I was offered the opportunity to do one just under a fortnight away. My approach to writing jokes and general material was somewhat slack, basically I bought a cheap notepad and jotted down bullet points, in the hope that I could blag the rest of it. I did a lot of reading about the open mic circuit; mainly articles by people with a vast amount of experience in it, so as to ensure I didn't go in with unrealistic expectations, such as hoping I would get floods of offers and insane amounts of money thrown at me off the back of one gig. Not that I ever really did expect such a thing to happen, but having ludicrous dreams frequently occupies my otherwise mundane days. One time I dreamt that I was floating around space in a giant apple, think Roald Dahl meets Gene Roddenberry only they are both drunk and have written the most nonsensical story ever together.
So anyway the gig came and went. It was supposed to be a 5 minute slot but even though it flew by for me, it seems I went a little bit over. The problem was that the room, which was the size of the average airing cupboard, was so ungodly sweltering that even if people were becoming restless, I wouldn't have known because sweat was dripping into my eyes. So I persevered with overly salty retinas, and crammed as much stuff in as I could. Thankfully I had a fair few friends and family that came to see me, the poor sods, that I never felt particularly nervous about doing the gig, my only worry was that I'd trip over the microphone wire or go blind there and then, but neither happened which is always a bonus. The venue was the Shaker & Co cocktail bar near Warren Street, and its a place I'll always remember as being the venue for my first glorious triumph. When you get feedback such as "You were surprisingly articulate" and "I thought you'd be shit but it was actually alright", then I feel glorious is the appropriate word. Bolstered by such high praise, I knew I should carry on doing it.
My second gig will be on the 31st July at Rudy 's Revenge bar in High Holborn, and I am actually looking forward to it. I just hope I get the chance to perform frequently enough that I can really shape my material into a solid 5-10 minutes, so I can avoid improvisation as much as possible, unless something I think is funny pops into my brain. This will probably happen more often than I or anyone else would like. Anyway, I've text rambled for long enough. I'll be more concise next time.
Thanks, bye bye.
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